Duties of the Heart: Ninth Treatise on Abstinence. 4
The marks of the special abstinence are as one of the pious declared:
The [genuine] ascetic:
* His joy is on his face, and his sorrow is in his heart.
* His heart is exceedingly broad.
* His soul is exceedingly lowly.
* He does not bear a grudge.
* He does not covet.
* He does not speak negatively of anyone.
* He does not discuss anyone.
* He abhors being honored.
* He hates dominion over others.
* He is calm and collected.
* He remembers well.
* He admits the truth.
* Has much shame.
* Avoids damaging.
* If he laughs, it will be little.
* If he becomes angry, he will not be wrathful.
* his laughter is a mere parting of the lips.
* his asking is in learning.
* His wisdom is extensive and his humility is great.
* His resolve is strong.
* He is neither hasty nor foolish in his actions.
* His arguing is polite, his reply is courteous.
* He acts righteously when angry.
* He is compassionate when entreated.
* His friendship is sincere.
* His resolution is strong.
* His covenant is faithful.
* He rules over his evil inclination.
* He does not speak badly about one who harmed him.
* He does not occupy himself with what is not useful.
* He does not become joyful in the downfall of his enemy.
* He does not remind to anyone a wrong which that person had done him.
* He troubles others lightly but helps them much.
* His gratitude is great at a time of bad.
* His bearing is patient at a time of financial loss.
* If he is asked from, he gives. If he is robbed, he will forgive.
* If others refuse from him something, he will nevertheless volunteer.
* If they keep him at a distance, he will nevertheless bring them close (be friendly to them).
* he is softer than butter, sweeter than honey.
* He exhorts others to adhere to the truth.
* He speaks righteously.
* He relinquishes his desires, and looks forward to his final day.
* What he says, he does.
* He is wise.
* He is energetic.
* His soul is noble.
* His covenant is agreeable.
* He is powerful in the land.
* He is free of all that is blameworthy.
* He is a helper of the poor and a savior of the oppressed.
* He does not expose what is hidden nor reveal a secret.
* His troubles are many, but his complaints are few.
* If he sees good, he will mention it, if he sees bad, he will cover it.
* He is pleasing in his manners and pure in his heart.
* His company is a joy, his absence, a cause for sorrow.
* Wisdom purges him.
* Humility has embellished him
* He is a mentor to the wise.
* He is a teacher to the ignorant.
* Every act of others he considers purer than his.
* Every person he considers more pure than himself.
* He is aware of his own lacking.
* He remembers his iniquity.
* He loves G-d and chases to do His will.
* He does not take revenge for any wrong done to him.
* He does not keep his anger long.
* His company is with those that remind him [of his duty to G-d].
* He sits with the humble.
* He loves men of righteousness, and is faithful to men of truth.
* He helps the poor, is a father to orphans and a protector to the widow, and shows respect to the needy.
Ninth Treatise on Abstinence, Chapter 5
The proper abstinence to adopt in association with other people is as follows:
* To receive them with a cheerful countenance and to exhibit joy when meeting them; at the same time, cultivating humility, gentle speech, and a lowliness of spirit towards all of them.
* Showing them mercy, graciousness, and compassion. Relieving them of their troubles, speaking good of them, doing kindness to them without expecting any benefit from them, and abandoning all thought of receiving anything of what belongs to them.
* To help them with what can further their religious or secular welfare, and to teach them the way which G-d approves.
* To patiently bear their difficult words, and to pour out one’s words before G-d and not before them.
* To keep away from gatherings that assemble for eating, drinking, and merrymaking, and avoid anything in association with them that would lead to rebellion against G-d, or going out of the bounds of modesty, traditional morality, or the like.
NaNach Noahide 